Fifth Week of June

They are best friends, love each other, care for each other.

And yet, don’t make love.

They live together now for many years, are attractive, beautiful and wonderful.

Not unhealthy, without closed hearts, yet not close.

You’d be surprised at how many people like this we have around us in Riga, New York, Kyoto and Liepaja. I was surprised.

There are also self-sufficient people who live alone – many who not only don’t want sex, but also don’t want, not have any desire to make love to themselves. They have no contact with sexual energy of any kind on any personal level.

In addition to theories about stress, fatigue, and estrangement, there is one more. It’s the idea that in our present state, we have too, too, too much overt, explicit sex all around us. Pictures, films, shop windows, magazine covers, beer commercials, art, conversations, jokes, bus stops and car catalogues.

Sex has become an external teaser that constantly arouses, constantly tweaking our clitoris and nipples. Like lab rats are excited to death, who die from orgasm. Until we are prodded to death, saturated to the extent that we are no longer able to feel anything.

Unwilling, unwanting, we are unwittingly taken on, on every street corner, table, billboard, leaving no space for our internal images, visions and deeper feelings. To eroticism and arousal that bubbles up on the inside, consciously and of our free will. We are over-loved and raped. And we don’t want any more, we are flaccid. The secret has been raped; everything has been pulled outside, leaving no possibility to feel for ourselves, to breathe in intimacy and the waves of life.

We live in an insidious double morality where on one side openness and authenticity is censored, but on the other, an untruthful invitation to continuous erotic action is unrestrained.

Enter, for example, the words sex or sexuality in a popular image or video browser and you will get a big zero. Enter the word fashion and you will get thousands of videos where everyone and everything licks, gets licked, crawls, bounces and excites.

You see, this is why I say that we are being fucked over without our consent. And we don’t really understand ourselves, why we can’t catch up with a genuine union, closeness to the other, to ours.

It’s possible that a deep, aware, creatively savvy version of ourselves is completely undesirable for the consumer society! It’s possible that as overstimulated, dazed and confused rats we are more useful and can be easily fed one thing after another! That’s why it’s absolutely imperative that we all need those damn Googles glasses! To arouse, excite, stimulate, again and again, and to take away our true power.

I don’t want to be fucked over like this anymore. I want it for real, deep, my way, and in me.